I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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