I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
