walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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