Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
