I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
