I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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