I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
