one might say we're banned from that church
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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