she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize