And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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