How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize