Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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