I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
