Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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