My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
