I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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