i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
that's an acceptable place to lick
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
