I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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