Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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