We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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