You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
