I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize