imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize