It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
