If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
