and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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