Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
