Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
