I like my sex mixed with concussions.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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