clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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