I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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