Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
