Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
