nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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