i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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