I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We need to rekindle our bromance
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
