she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
