Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
