Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
