Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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