You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
