Where did you get a picture of my penis
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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