I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she told me i tasted like america
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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