plz talk dirty to me
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize