hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
