I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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