remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize