You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
