I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think I just shit out all my problems.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
