she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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