Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
