Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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