no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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