Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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