I want to stick my p in your. b.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
