Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
