the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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