AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Someone came in the potted fern
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
