idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
