You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize