I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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