i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
we're chasing vodka with high fives
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
