Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
