Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
