I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
