why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
did you just send me my own nude
Randomize
