I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
