Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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