Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
